Dow Scoggins

Beer has inspired some of the greatest minds to utter words of pure genius—or at least pure hilarity—proving once again that a frosty pint is the ultimate muse. Take Homer Simpson, who wisely declared, “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems,” perfectly summing up why we love the stuff while conveniently ignoring the hangover math. Then there’s Dave Barry reminding us that “without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer—oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” And who can forget the classic logic: “Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!” Cheers to these timeless gems that make every sip feel like a philosophical victory.

More famous beer quotes from U.S. Presidents, writers, actors, comedians, punk rockers, and more.

Jack Nicholson – Actor
“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.”

Frank Zappa – Musician
“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”

Plato – Classical Greek philosopher
“He was a wise man who invented beer.”

Tina Fey – Comedian and writer
“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.”

Thomas Jefferson – Third U.S. President
Thoughts on the matter: “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.”

Sid Vicious – Punk Rocker
“I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.”

Martin Luther – Protestant Reformation
“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”

Martin Luther – Protestant Reformation
“Beer is made by men, wine by God.”

Henry David Thoreau – American author, poet
Thoughts on the matter: “Instead of water we got here a draught of beer…a lumberer’s drink, which would acclimate and naturalize a man at once—which would make him see green, and, if he slept, dream that he heard the wind sough among the pines.”

Winston Churchhill – British Prime Minister
Thoughts on the matter: “Most people hate the taste of beer—to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.”

J.P. Donleavy – Irish-American novelist
Thoughts on the matter: “When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?”

Bill Carter – Writer, documentary maker
Thoughts on the matter: “There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.”

Russell Crowe – Actor, The Gladiator
Thoughts on the matter: “I have respect for beer.”

Anne Sexton – Poet, writer
Thoughts on the matter: “God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.”

Benjamin Franklin – Inventor, Diplomat, Publisher and Founding Father
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Milan Kundera – Author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being
“Isn’t beer the holy libation of sincerity? The potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? The drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness?”

Ray Bradbury – Sci-fi author, book lover
“Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.”

Charles Bukowski – Author, drinker
“stay with the beer. beer is continuous blood. a continuous lover.”

Stephen King – Author
“A man who lies about beer makes enemies.”

William Shakespeare – Playwright
Thoughts on the matter: “For a quart of Ale is a dish for a king.”

Abraham Lincoln –  U.S. president
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”

Dave Barry – Humorist and writer(Dave Barry comes up with some of the best beer quotes of all time)
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Thomas Pynchon – Author, Gravity’s Rainbow
Thoughts on the matter: “Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it’s all–hahhhh.”

Edgar Allan Poe – poet
“Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chambers of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies,
Come to life and fade away:
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.”

Hunter S. Thompson – Wild-card, drug consumer
“There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.”

Sylvia Plath – American Poet
“The beer tastes good to my throat, cold and bitter, and the three boys and the beer and the queer freeness of the situation makes me feel like laughing forever. So I laugh, and my lipstick leaves a red stain like a bloody crescent moon on top of the beer can. I am looking very healthy and flushed and bright-eyed, having both a good tan and a rather excellent fever.”

Hugh Hood – Canadian essayist, professor
“Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.”

Kaiser Wilhelm – Last King of Prussia(With all these beer quotes, at least one had to come from Baveria.
“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”

Ellen Kushner, The Fall of the Kings
“Across the troubled maelstrom of time, people always need a beer.”

Dave Barry Beer Quotes
41. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

42. “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

43. “I have never gotten into wine. I’m a beer man. What I like about beer is, you basically just drink it, then you order another one. You don’t sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, and above all you don’t drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tends to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot.”

44. “In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.”

45. “In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.”

46. “What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.”

47. “All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.” (Referring to the quality of American beer at the time.)

Jim Koch, the founder and brewer of Samuel Adams Beer Quotes
48. “When I started Sam Adams, American beer was a joke, and it pissed me off. And now, American brewers make the best beer in the world.”

49. “Beer is one of the great treasures of mankind. It’s been with us for 12,000 years.”

50. “I wanted to create a beer revolution in the United States in the same way Samuel Adams created a political revolution.”

51. “Our Boston Lager was the first time America had tasted rich, flavorful, fresh beer.”

52. “In Utopias, you will get a beer that breaks all the rules and boundaries for beer.”

53. “The fundamental insight was: ‘I can make the best glass of beer that is available to the beer drinker in the United States. There has to be a market for that.’”

54. “Unfortunately almost all our beer knowledge comes from Budweiser, Miller, and Coors. It’s as if all we knew about food we learned from McDonalds.”

55. “There is food in beer, but there is no beer in food. Beer is like liquid bread—it provides the same necessary nutrients. I say, just lay off the food.”

56. “Gemütlichkeit is a somewhat untranslatable German word that means the warm, friendly coziness of beer.”

Barack Obama Beer Quotes
57. “It will be out soon! I can tell from firsthand experience, it is tasty.”
— Referring to the White House Honey Ale recipe during a 2012 Reddit AMA.

58. “There’s never a bad day for a beer and a weisswurst.”
— Said in response to the suggestion of holding a G7 summit in Bavaria, Germany (where he famously drank beer at 11 a.m. with traditional sausages).

59. “Smoothie sounds okay, but a beer sounds better.”
— At the Iowa State Fair in 2012, when offered a smoothie by a vendor.

Charlie Papazian author of The Complete Joy of Homebrewing Beer Quotes

60. “Relax, don’t worry, have a homebrew.”

61. “Remember, the best beer in the world is the one you brewed.”

62. “The best beer in the world is the one in my hand.”

63. “Buy a man a beer, and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.”

64. “Worrying still can spoil your beer more than anything else.”

Fritz Maytag(Anchor Brewing)

65. “We brewers don’t make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and the beer makes itself.”

66. “Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.”

67. “It’s very hard to get pretentious about beer. You can become knowledgeable and start to talk with a highfalutin’ vocabulary. But you can only go so far with beer, and I’ve always liked that.”

68. “There is nothing quite like our beer anywhere in the world. Our brewing methods evolved gradually, based on what we knew about the past traditions, and also using a lot of common sense.”

69. “We created a revolution in beer and we had a wonderful time doing it.”

70. “In California, we had a fantastic freedom to brew whatever we wanted.”

71. “There’s more creativity and more integrity and more variety in America than in the rest of the world combined.”

72. “I used to say that we’re trying to make beer that most people won’t like.”

73. “Never be ashamed by your ignorance, just your lack of curiosity.”
— A favorite Maytag-ism shared by Anchor staff, emphasizing learning in brewing.

Greg Koch(Founder of Stone Brewing) Beer Quotes

74. “No longer – no longer will we put up with fizzy yellow beer!”
— His famous rallying cry, often shouted from barstools with a megaphone during events and book tours.

75. “If my mother was tied up and held ransom, I might think about making a light beer.”
— On why Stone would never brew watered-down, mass-market styles.

76. “We are in a time of irrational exuberance in craft brewing. We are like a Third World bus, with all these people hanging on to the roof. Sooner or later, we are going to hit a bump in the road.”
— Reflecting on the rapid growth (and potential risks) of the craft beer industry.

77.“If you said to people [in 1996], ‘Hey, would you like an aggressively bitter beer? Would you like something that has a flavor profile that’s different from anything you’ve ever experienced?’ How would people even respond to that?”
— On pioneering bold, hop-forward beers like Arrogant Bastard Ale without market testing.

78. “We know that we have to fight for a choice, because what big beer wants to do is remove choice.”
— His view on the threat of macro brewers to independent craft brewing.

79. “Hey, consumers, we think you deserve something that’s going to be in tip-top shape.”
— Emphasizing Stone’s commitment to fresh, high-quality beer.

Norm Peterson Quotes and Comebacks with Woody(Cheers)
80. Woody: “Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: “A little early, isn’t it, Woody?”
Woody: “For a beer?”
Norm: “No, for stupid questions.”

81. Sam: “What’s new, Normie?”
Norm: “Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.”

82. Woody: “What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: “The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson? A beer, please, Woody.”

83. Woody: “Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.”
Norm: “I know. If she calls, I’m not here.”

84. Woody: “Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: “Alright, but stop me at one… make that one-thirty.”

85. Coach: “How does a beer sound, Norm?”
Norm: “I don’t know, Coach. I usually finish them before they get a word in.”

86. Sam: “Whaddya say to a beer, Normie?”
Norm: “Hiya, sailor. New in town?”

87. Woody: “What’s the story, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: “Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.”

88. Woody: “Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?”
Norm: “Yep. Now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?”

89. Sam: “What’ll it be, Normie?”
Norm: “Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.”
Sam: “Looks like beer, Norm.”
Norm: “Call me Mister Lucky.”

90. Woody: “What’d you like, Norm?”
Norm: “I need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?”

91. Norm: “Women. Can’t live with ’em… pass the beer nuts.”

Homer Simpson quotes
92. “Beer… the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
(The ultimate Homer philosophy – from “Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”)

93. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
(Homer negotiating with his own mind before work)

94. “No TV and no beer makes Homer… something something.”Marge: “Go crazy?”
Homer: “Don’t mind if I do!!!”
(Iconic meltdown from when Marge bans both)

95. “To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems.”
(A slight variation of the first one, but always worth repeating)

96. “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.”
(Pure devotion)

97. “Beer: Now there’s a temporary solution.”
(Homer’s take on quick fixes)

98. “Homer no function beer well without.”
(Grammatically challenged brilliance)

99. “Well beer, we’ve had some good times.”[singing sadly]”When I was 17, I drank some very good beer… I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. My name was Brian McGee…”
(The heartbreaking farewell in “Duffless” – complete with fake ID nostalgia)

100. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
(Extreme measures, Homer-style)

101. “Beer! Beer! Give me some beer!”
(Desperate, primal Homer energy)

102. “Mmm… gummi beer.”
(When he discovers gummi-shaped beer candies – priorities!)

More Famous Quotes
101. “My beer is Rheingold — the Dry beer!” – Paul Newman – Beer Ad

101. Winston Churchhill
“Most people hate the taste of beer—to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.”

102. “Make sure that the beer—four pints a week—goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.”(A wartime directive emphasizing morale for frontline soldiers during World War I or II rationing.)

Earnest Hemingway
103. “It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.” — Reflecting on beer’s everyday role in life.

104. “This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.” — A raw, spirited line from his novel To Have and Have Not (also quoted in letters)

105. Andre the Giant
“I know I have eaten more good food, drunk more beer and fine wine, had more friends, and seen more of the world than most men ever will.” — A reflective quote from André himself, acknowledging his larger-than-life experiences (including beer).

New Beer Quotes of 2026
Classic Beer Quote of the Day from Curt Cignetti after Indiana’s dominant 56-22 Peach Bowl win over Oregon, securing their spot in the CFP National Championship against Miami:
“I’m really not thinking about the next game. I’m thinking about cracking open a beer.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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